August 29th, 2011 by The Bull

August 24th, 2011 by The Bull

Throughout history there have been many unsolved mysteries. How did we get here? Did the CIA really kill JFK? One of the more famous mysteries is that of the Sasquatch or “Bigfoot”. This picture taken by Roger Patterson in 1967 has become famous worldwide.

However, to add to the “Unsolved Mystery” database I have come up with a few unexplained things myself. First, I must warn you. You are about to take a trip into the unknown. Try and wrap your brain around these … Read the rest of this entry »

August 17th, 2011 by The Bull

Marisa Miller. Ok, you got me. It’s really no secret at all that I’d love to have sexual intercourse with Marisa Miller.  The Victoria Secret Angel is a straight up boner factory. Read the rest of this entry »

December 15th, 2010 by The Bull

Originally Posted: April 14th, 2005

I’m friends with this incredibly hot chick – just play along. She has a picture-perfect face and her hair always smells beautiful, so, I’m pretty sure she showers. The other day she gave me a kiss, and I swear she tasted just like vanilla ice cream. As my Weight Watchers councilor can attest, I really love vanilla ice cream. Not to mention, she has an ass that can stop traffic and her breasts are so big and perky that a small village could seek refuge under them. She is also smart, funny, and, like me, she loves episodes of “Unsolved Mysteries.” Also like me, when she hears Robert Stack’s spooky voice, she pees in her pants a little bit. Yes, I believe that her and I are a urinating match made in heaven.

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December 15th, 2010 by The Bull

Originally Posted: March 21st, 2005

Yesterday, I was sitting around my house getting drunk, while watching the “Rocky” marathon on American Movie Classics. Before the entire “Rocky” story unfolded I was feeling a bit lazy and reserved but, as any real guy can attest to, as soon as that “Rocky” theme blares through your television speakers, your mood elevates tenfold. Read the rest of this entry »

December 15th, 2010 by The Bull

Originally Posted: February 21st, 2005

It’s not often that I kick in my two cents about the current events in the world. Because I feel that this entire planet is circling the proverbial drain of doom, this might be my last chance to chime in.

First off, why is it that every time I turn on the television some hot blonde teacher is being arrested for sexually molesting one of her students? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not angry – I’m jealous. Read the rest of this entry »

December 15th, 2010 by The Bull

Originally Posted: February 3rd, 2005

It may come as a shock to you, but I’d like to tell you that I’m not really that bright of a person. Surprising, eh? It’s kind of like hearing that professional wrestling is fake. At any rate, while this subject may not mean all that much to you, my intelligence, or lack thereof, is extremely important to me. You see, someday I’m going to have to get a real job, and as scary a thought as that may be, it’s something I readily think about. Read the rest of this entry »

December 15th, 2010 by The Bull

Originally Posted: January 31st, 2005

My shrink has been telling me that keeping all my anger and aggression pent up is unhealthy. So in honor of his advice I’ve decided to vent just a bit.

First of all, I’m getting real sick of being shot down by young college broads just because they were popular in high school. Last week a girl told me she didn’t want to go out with me because I wasn’t cool enough for her. Read the rest of this entry »

December 15th, 2010 by The Bull

Originally Posted: December 6th, 2004

Because I’m a kind, caring gentleman – and because my parole officer made me – I chose to do some community service. About two weeks ago, I decided I was going to fulfill my civic duty by coaching a youth basketball team. I figured that by coaching kids, not only would I appease the judge, but I would also make a real lasting impression on a few youngsters. Well, that’s not entirely true. To be perfectly honest, I wanted to coach a pee-wee team so I could have access to hot older broads. Read the rest of this entry »

December 15th, 2010 by The Bull

Originally Posted: November 22nd, 2004

Like most of you, this Thanksgiving I have to make the trek back home to see my family, or as I like to refer to them, “the freak show.” Every year on Thanksgiving, my grandmother calls me at 6 in the morning, and when I answer, she screams “gobble, gobble” into the telephone. Read the rest of this entry »